My room smells like vodka and shame
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
