Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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