The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
