your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
