i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
