So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
