So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
organizing the empties. That sober.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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