I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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