Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
