Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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