Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
