Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
