Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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