Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
