walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
There r osticjed everywhere
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
