she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
