i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
