I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
