Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
