After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
