Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
