Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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