Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
4 words: hood of his car
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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