This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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