Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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