hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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