So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
