her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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