This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
