I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
