I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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