DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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