it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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