Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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