How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
