my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
