i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
