that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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