i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
be right there i have to get my cape
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
