tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
