Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
