thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
