What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
