sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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