"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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