Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
