Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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