They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
