Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
