What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
