I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
